#i look at those & i go
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i used to be so good at writing strong, thoroughly-researched, thoroughly-edited essays.
as a kid in hs, my teacher literally came up to me, holding my 40 page essay on the intersection of the European witch hunts and capitalism/exploitation/gender roles (it was supposed to be 7 pages...whoops) and went like "this is literally a master's-degree level thesis. what are you doing?? you could literally use this as your final dissertation in a master's program, what the fuck."
NOW??? NOW?? you'd think I'd be oh so skilled. but alas. i can barely piece together two ideas. adhd skill-regression is so so real. im SOBBING
#this is just me ranting sorry#im very tired and hungry#and i want to sleep but brain go brrrrr#well i used to be nice and smart and now im neither of those or however the song goes#pretty sure he was exaggerating cause looking back. it was good. but some of the wording was a lil wonky#adhd#actually adhd#executive dysfunction#actually neurodiverse#adhd paralysis#adult adhd#attention deficit hyperactivity disorder#adhd hacks#academia#neurodivergent#adhd skill regression#confessions of a burnt out gifted kid#<< i guess#former gifted kid#burnt out gifted kid#gifted kid burnout#realizing i sound rly pretentious here sorry -- formal speech patterns i picked up as an autistic child and never put down again haha
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finished this one recently (didn't realize I started this last february haha)
#rug hooking#fiber art#artists on tumblr#so it did snow and then it rained and everything's gone already jhfkj#I kinda wanna go find one of those big white boards just so there's no crinkling haha versus when I use paper#finished the horse rug hook as well :O 2 outta 5 done#edit: also tried one of those iron labels on the back? which...it looks fine but I kinda like the charm#and feel of a little tag sewn on/sticking out more#edit2: thank you craftingkarp for the blaze hahaha#(and tumblr staff for bonus)
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Season 1 Silco, my beloved
#my art#sketchy sketch#arcane#silco#I just had the sudden need to draw Silco from s1 so here ya go#very rough sketches this time#mission impossible = draw silco with his mouth closed#i NEED TO draw those teefies#i drew him looking up and my first thought was uppies#i don't get me#thats my queue to leave
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oversaturate
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#jjk yuuji#been trying some stuff out in an attempt to beat the artblock out of myself with hammers#and i LOVE how it looks but god it takes so long painting like this#i had a ref style i was going for that was a lot more washed out and watercoloury#and to be fair my take on it did start out looking more adjacent to that#u can still kinda see remnants of the initial watercolour washes in the collar of yuuji's jacket in th bottom one#but it Did Not Last fhdjfjjg what can i say im a gouache/oils gal#i can't use soft greys and watery inks i need stark blacks i need the reddest red the colour wheel will provide#one thing i did keep from the refs were the sharp prickly fine lines i think those look real cool against textured colour blocks#anyway ive also been having a lot of fun playing with rly rly harsh lighting on the hair#and even thinner linework put down after the colour as opposed to before#probably one of the reasons why it takes a lot longer but also it mimics traditional art a lot more#ill probably continue playing around with this sort of render ! or at least keep elements of it
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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reminding myself there are no truly "bad days", because every single day, someone somewhere in the world has taken a photo of an extremely tiny animal and shown it to someone else, and that's very good actually
#buny text#bless the people who take photos of incredibly small baby bunnies and post them on line. they are what keeps me going#when i was running the bunnieswithVGM twitter it was like. genuinely a healing experience getting to look at rabbit photos regularly#i highly recommend looking at pics of very small rabbits and thinking to yourself 'you tiny fucking thing. how do you exist'#it's very important and also fun. and then you can share those images with a friend#the tiny fucking animals on the internet are free and you can take them with you
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FNAF Phone guy was wild for saying that to Michael..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#michael afton#phone guy#fnaf 1#sister location#fnaf fanart#HOLY SHIT PHONE GUY MENTIONED AGAIN 🔥🔥#NOW WITH A FULL HUMAN DESIGN ☎️#listen I know I’ll never beat his object head form#BUT I wanted to take at least one stab at making him a design!#my thought process I based him off William and Bob the security guard from the movie!#those two basically gives off the general idea I thought phone guy looked like#made sure to give him red all over his design too to match the phone head deal 🙏🏾#SO YEAH in retrospect phone guy saying this TO MICHAEL is crazy#you think Michael just sat there like 😐#Michael straight up had an endo shoved into him and he was wore like a suit 💀#PHONE GUY definitely didn’t know but yeesh hit close to home there#I REALLY hope yall like PG design!!#I’ll probably tweak it a lil if I do draw it again#now phone guy phone dude and tape girl all have human designs let’s go!! 🩵🩵
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#katamari#we love katamari#im going around getting gifs of katamari again#it makes me so happy#look how cute prince is#its such a CUTE SCENE OOUGHHH#ive almost got 100% my collections too#so ill make gifs of those#gif#i wish u could just explore the levels sometimes#i love how everything is set up
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So one thing I’ve noticed is that people’s DnD characters may vary but there is usually an underlying thread that they all have in common. This thread is typically related to what that person struggles with the most.
For instance, my betrotheds DnD characters: a bitchy warlock we had to bust out of two different pacts, a sassy barbarian, a reformed drow cultist, and a sunshine fighter cleric.
All these characters were wildly different but at their very core struggle was them grappling with their self worth. My betrothed struggles with their worth a great deal and even with different facets showing their characters all have that too.
Mine all tend to contend with different themes of loneliness and acceptance. Surprise, surprise, the little autistic gremlin yearns to have been met with more love and lasting friendships.
So we’re at breakfast. I am meeting a new friend of my betrotheds for the first time. It’s been twenty minutes since I’ve met this man. I say my theory. He laughs. He starts to describe a few of his characters but specifies that he often has healing aspects. He gives a very broad overview of their character arcs.
I ponder for a moment then said, “Would you like to have my assessment?”
He laughed, “Sure!”
“We’ve just met. It’s gonna get real.”
“Bring it on.”
“I think your struggle is that you feel you must offer something of value or service to people to be worthy of their love.”
His jaw dropped. His fork froze midway to his mouth. A potato fell. He stared into space as this sank in. Quietly he said, “Oh.”
#dnd#ramblies#dungeons and dragons#ffs foibles#he kept repeating it through the rest of the hang out and I got less coherent as I tuckered out but the gist was there#he also mentioned in his dating history how he’d always felt girls he’d dated were moving too fast#and without thinking I laughed and said yeah cause you’re gay and you desperately didn’t want those relationships to go anywhere#you just wanted to be loved but not romantically#and he looked shooketh#and I apologized cause I usually try to limit my deep psychoanalysis of people to one per hangout but he wasn’t upset
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Fear both ways.
Bug Fact: Approximately 1-3% of all known insects and arachnids are actually harmful to humans, our plants, and our animals.
V2 First || Prev // Next
Volume 2 Masterpost
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I animated two different versions. I wasn't able to import the first one (left) correctly because I animated it on Rough Animator, so I just decided to animate it again on Procreate (right). It turned out much easier to do the second time.
#PANIC!!!!!#SAM DON'T FREAK OUT!!!- uh.. Welp.... O-O#It's a GIF!!!! I'm really proud of how my little animation looks :) I tried going for a normal bug look since it's Sam's POV#Plus animating those bugs as they look would be wayyyy too much effort haha#I wont translate what the bugs are saying as they run away. It would be every curse word in the book#Really love this page. I put in a lot of effort! And even used some different programs to layer the animation with#That and I've been excited to draw this page since day one. Sam is literally Godzilla and she will unknowingly destroy much#i feel like the lighting is always so inconsistent in each page (because it is). But i dont really know if I want to put in the extra effor#Dewi's Adventures in Hollow Knight#Dewi's Adventures in Hollow Knight V2#hollow knight humans#hornet hollow knight#ghost hollow knight#my art#dewi#comic#hollow knight au#Lilybug Comics#art#Hollow Knight#hollow knight fanart#hk fanart#hollow knight comic#hollow knight art#hk art#hk au#sam
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This is your protagonist, everyone. This is the man sap that we’re supposed to cheer for.
#disney fnaf#disney michael afton#michael afton#this michael would unironically say stuff like “dont sweat it pops”#fnaf#fnaf fanart#laddersarts#artists on tumblr#i keep thinking about how an actual disney-esque fnaf movie would go (bc ive been picturing some animated sequences) and-#one obvious starting point is that michael would be the protag. i also realized that i never actually made a proper michael design-#before so this was a bit of an experiment on what I think he could look like.#ive also-also kind of realized i should tag characters individually with “disney [name]” bc i notice that its a common question about-#whether ive drawn a stylized version of a specific character or not. so since i already tag “disney fnaf” bc thats the main inspo and style#that im going for i figured that it could be an easy way to see if ive drawn a stylized version of a certain character by checking if i-#have something tagged with them (especially since ive been planning on doing some more of those stylizations to other characters recently)
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old drawings i found while going thru my computer
#genuinely cant tell u when these r from#just from memory#ok these range from october of 2023 to march of 2024#i had to look at the properties lmao#the duke and damian jacket one was supposed to be like? a set piece?#i wanted to draw the batkids in jackets i have#so i gave damian my jean jacket and duke that one#jason was gonna get a leather jacket and tim i think a sweater#and those were the only i had planned out#im gonna transfer some of these to my ipad so i could clean some up. before dropping the rest#bc why did i let these go unfinished#tim drake#robin#stephanie brown#steph brown#cassandra cain#cass cain#batgirl#spoiler#duke thomas#damian wayne#the signal#batfamily#only minorly edited to add my username#ash's doodlings
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Do you think Perry ever mixes up being mindless and sentient?
#its super late and i did this super fast sorry it looks so weird#esp those scissors kill them ugg#i was thinking that scene where isabella said “you can teach him a trick” (first ep was it) and thought#if they try to teach him a trick he would have to pretend he doesnt know what “sit” means for a while??#you know like pretend he doesnt know english at all. like he just didnt go to spy school#pinky probably had to do that#hmm lots to think about#perry the platypus#phineas and ferb#phineas flynn#ferb fletcher#heinz doofenshmirtz#msmimundo#fanart#ah perry n doof are decorating a party (vanessas bday??)#grrr i forgot to add phineas speech bubble in the first pic fuck
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Sorry if you're already over 50, I ran out of room (you're welcome to leave your thoughts in the tags or replies!)
If you're younger than 10, get the fuck off Tumblr. People are saying swears on here!
[EDIT: It's OK to vent a bit about negative feelings in the comments/tags, but if you're gonna talk about killing yourself, do me a favour and fucking don't]
#polls#birthdays#ageing#milestones#organic home grown content#for me (28) while there's an element of 'where the fuck did the time go?'#30 sounds all right. even kind of nice#you're still on the younger side of adulthood but you're no longer one of those 'barely an adult' new adults#although some people might feel that change at 25#i feel like 40 is gonna be harder to deal with. that still feels like the age people's parents are#though it might look different once i'm in my 30s#100 tier#1000 tier#suicide mention
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big fan of panels where they look like they wld beat me up
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuuji#megumi#YUUJI WILL NOT COOPERATE TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME >:(((#is it the angle ? is it the expression?? the bangs??????? am i just a fraud and a fake yuuji liker i dont know at this point#god#just . just take it i cant fiddle with the proportions any more ill go insane#it was worse when i tried colouring it but im STILL not 100% sold on it no matter what i shift or tilt#megumi my darling boy i love u at least You always have my back :'<#honestly my leading theory is that bc my yuuji design looks objectively More different than his canon design#its more prone 2 looking Wrong in my head#but even so !!! if i *have* my yuuji design down why does it still feel like im fighting fr my gd life when i try 2 draw him#it feels like he is shattering my drawing hand and smiling at me n taunting me w those shiny puppy eyes th entire time#head in hands I Don't Get It#when will i get it#anyway scoreboard yuuji: 623453766235 hina: 0
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Look what we've become.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#Initially I wanted to do a 'Mutiny' quote to follow the 'Luck runs out' quote.#But the musical earworms demanded a different blood to be drawn. And I think it works just as well.#Alright. It's time to confess something. I really struggled with this comic. I didn't want to draw it. Then I didn't want to upload it.#Because I knew I would be here in the tags writing and backspacing for hours trying to articulate my thoughts.#I'm going to talk about death and grief in the tags today so this is your WARNING to look away if you aren't in a headspace for it.#Sometimes in media there are scenes and characters which land on topics so specific to your wounds that it reopens them all over again.#Because here's the truth. When you've known someone like this for nearly your whole life...it doesn't matter how bad the fight is.#You always think 'We'll always have time. One day this dust will settle and we'll rebuild the bridge.'#And then the fucker dies!!! He dies and suddenly there will never ever be time to repair the rift.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. And part of you did just a bit. But love and hate aren't mutually exclusive.#He's fucking dead and you are left with so many broken and unfinished pieces between the two of you.#Jiang Cheng loses Wei Wuxian thinking that WWX thought they hated each other.#He's a younger brother who will one day be older than the person he lost.#Who has no one else in the world who understands those feelings of love and hate and grief.#I can't be normal about this character. I don't think he even heals me. Zero catharsis to be gained here.#I just look at his sour grape ass and think 'shit that's a little too close to home.' JC is my discomfort character.#I'm probably going to regret being this vulnerable in the tags in like. An hour. So. sorry if you see this once and never again.#EDIT: Yeah sorry this took 4 hours to muster the courage to post. Surprise update!#EDIT 2: You guys were being too nice to me on my sad comic to point out the spelling error. I have fixed it now B'*)
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